So I talked to a good friend a couple weeks ago when it was Spring Break about my predicament.

We both agreed that I don't like him romantically, but I like his presence. His existence.

That doesn't sound weird at all.

But yeah. The nickname is staying though. Nothing's wrong with that, right?

I dreamt about him for the second time last night

While I'm glad it finally happened, a part of me wishes it didn't.

From what I recall, in my dream I knew you were coming to see me, and I knew our reunion was one after being so far from each other for quite some time.

You came to my house, my room, and we embraced and it was great. I think you were wearing a suit, or something fancy like that. I don't know why though.

But what really got me shocked was that after we hugged and I moved over on my bed to give you room, you started massaging my butt... you were drawing a line or two with a finger and I kept moaning. I've never really had sexual contact with anyone ever but perhaps that's one of my erogenous zones??

And the more I moaned the more you smiled and kept touching me... it was quite strange. You stopped after a little while and we were talking like everything was normal.

I think we also went somewhere together, but I can't remember really. I just remember seeing your face after so long and being so happy.



I think I need to stay away from your Facebook page for a while. That's probably why I had this dream, because I was looking through it before I went to bed.

I'm just so. damn. confused.

Panda Bear

FUCK.

I made the mistake of going through your pictures of you in China, and I ended up coming up with a nickname for you based on a few up there.

Panda.

I like it, and I think it's cute, but I'm supposed to be distancing myself from you.

Not coming up with cutesy nicknames that make me wanna be closer to you.

Not only do I miss you, but I miss the things that remind me of you.

Like your bike.

I left the dorm a few days ago and saw a red one left against the railings of the steps on the walkway.

I think it might have been the same model, or at least it was very similar.

For a moment, I pretended that it was your bike, and that you came to my dorm to see me.

The other day as I was approaching the library, I saw someone that reminded me of you.

He back was turned, but almost every part of him screamed "you".

His build was slender but sturdy like yours, and he wore his pants, hoodie and even a backwards cap like you.

As I walked past, he face gave himself away but it wasn't hard to pretend.